Design on Someone Else's Dime

So I had a store credit at Room & Board from when my couch was so severely delayed/etc. way back in Nov-Feb timeframe. Then Bunky gave me an R&B gift card for my birthday. Well I finally went and spent it this weekend with my Mom and Big Sir in tow - so it was fun to buy myself something for free. Even better when I got a floor model with very minor flaws for 20% off!

It looks awesome and is on a dimmer - tres chic!



Then since moving to SF, I've become more interested in photography. And I have had not a stitch of ANYTHING on my walls since moving in. While at R&B, I bought three basic black frames, complete with mats. I had a series of close ups I took in some lime trees at our most recent Palm Springs rental house (former home of Janet Leigh and Tony Curtis, btw!), so I had Walgreens print 'em up and hung them last night in my kitchen. If I'm not careful, my home will soon look like a bona fide adult with some semblance of good taste lives there!!




Now if I could just get Charlie to get interested in re-decorating her little boudoir.




"You must be the change you wish to see in the world."
-Gandhi

it ain't easy...

I've been turned on to a great song... so now I'm sharing it with you:

Sideways - by Citizen Cope:
You know it ain't easy
For these thoughts here to leave me
There's no words to describe it
In French or in English
Well, diamonds they fade
And flowers they bloom
And I'm telling you

These feelings won't go away
They've been knockin' me sideways
They've been knockin' me out lately
Whenever you come around me

These feelings won't go away
They've been knockin' me sideways
I keep thinking in a moment that
Time will take them away
But these feelings won't go away

I was discussing the meaning of the song and my perception with "someone" the other night. He was telling me he feels like it is a somber, not-so-happy song. I think the music, the tone, the quality of this dude's voice - sure, not super happy/fun like an up-tempo Kylie Minogue frothy hit. But I also think it is not necessarily melancholy.

Listen to it. MANY times. God knows I have. I LOVE this shit. But I feel like its merely someone describing how he can't get away from a strong feeling about someone. He can't shake it. His feelings are throwing him for a loop.

But is that necessarily a bad thing?

I don't think so. I'm trying to feel my feelings instead of manage them in my brain. Its fucking scary. Terrifying actually. But the exhiliration and just plain old fun I'm experiencing lately is pretty awesome.

the grass is not greener...

Most of you who have been longer-term readers of mine know that I'm still fairly new to the singles scene after my recent divorce. It's been almost seven months since my relationship ended. And I guess you could say I've been dating for the past guess I'd say three months since I've been in SF. It can get dicey. Is it fun all the time? Not so much, no. But I'm in it. I'm gonna stick it out.

I often get more than a little incensed when I get a blow off from someone. Not entirely because I don't like rejection. I mean sure, that's a big part of it. Come on... I'm human. What can I say? Being rejected is not fun. But more often than not, it has nothing to do with me. I mean sure, if you don't like my hair color or the style in which I dress, that's pretty personal. But I can't help it if I'm merely being me. For me to be myself is an imperative. So while it is seemingly about me, it's not really. It's about you- you are just not that into what I have to offer. Nothing mean about it. It is what it is.

But when I'm on this side of the fence, daddy no like. I know first-hand that it is not fun. But I am also beginning to realize that I may be in a minority of folks who would like to be told a flat-out NO instead of being chased around the bush while you beat it and are indirect and just keep pushing me out until I finally give up.

Today I was forced to remember that the grass is not greener on the other side of the proverbial fence: Today I disappointed someone.

It was not the first time and it won't be the last. Like I said, I've recently found myself on the receiving end of disappointment on a few occasions. I am sure I will again. Probably too many times to count. But it's part of it, right?

But today I decided to be up front. I decided rather than say, "sure, I'll go out with you again" and then dodging phone calls and emails until the other person gave up I said, "sure, but just as friends, ok?" It felt both bad and good. I was direct, polite and there's no false pretense. My integrity felt good. I am not so sure the other person felt so good about it. I also don't know how disappointed he really was. But from the short remainder of our conversation, I'd imagine he was just a little bit. I know how that feels. It's not fun.

I don't like to disappoint people. But I value being direct and honest in a kind way more than avoiding the truth and stringing people along. Am I the only one out there that feels like this? Many times, I feel as if I am.

Maybe I should just put a mirror on the other side of that fence...to remind me of the view from the other side.

HOLY FUCK

So... it's no secret I'm not a fan of the recent Google convergence with Blogger and YouTube. I have been gnashing teeth as I can't get videos on YT to post to Blogger automatically as I once could, before I migrated to the newer version of Blogger. [enter extreme anger stage left]

I got all wrapped up into it and FINALLY figured out why.

1. I had neglected to update my login info ON YouTube. Yes - user error. I'll admit it. It happens. But....

2. so i updated my info. STILL get the error that the username/password is wrong. ARGH! I started poking around. Before the new version of Blogger came out of beta, it was called Blogger(beta). Well... it's now just called Blogger. But YouTube doesn't know that yet. I had to FOOL YT by deleting my blog, then re-adding as Blogger(beta) which its not, really.

But until the geniuses figure that one out, for the time being, I think I can successfully post from YT to my blog.

FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC!

aural tastebuds

I like to think that I possess some what of a varied and sophisticated taste in music:

- I like classical… from the super conventional classical (Dvorak, Barber) to contemporary American Classical (Berstein RULES!) to 20th century atonal stuff (think Berg, Schoenberg).
- I like Rap - I clearly prefer female artists, but I gots some essential Jay-Z and LL on my 'Pod.
- I like some Broadway/Showtunes. Not much, but some.
- I like R&B (Mary J.'s a tight bitch, Xtina - bitch has MAD vocal skills.).
- I like what I'd call 'newish' rock-n-roll (Fall Out Boy, The Killers, etc.).
- And I'm open to new stuff. A burgeoning friendship has begun to introduce me to Yo La Tengo. So far so good on the YLT tip. WHEEEEE!

But I do have some low brow tastes… just like my humor.

So I worked up a February playlist that is insanely diverse. And an "oldie" (not really, but the song is not new) came on a moment ago and I was at my desk bopping up and down in my chair feeling like a 16 yr old Italian girl, jumping up on her bed in her WHITE ON WHITE bedroom in Long Island, I was so excited and into the song.:

Love At First Sight - Kylie Minogue from her album, Fever.

Someone walked by when we were at the chorus (yes, honey - we - me and Kylie were GETTING' AFTER IT)

"baby when I heard you
for the first time I knew
we were meant to be as one……………"

Thank god I was just silently mouthing the words. But holy fuctards, Batman, does that song make me want to be in a convertible with a fresh ice-cold DDP*, maybe tooling down the sunny-as-hell PCH to nowhere in particular? That would be a little slice of Heaven…sheer Heaven.

----------------------
* Diet Dr. Pepper.. mmm. hellz yeah.

finally, it has happened to me. right in front of my face, my feelin's can't describe it.

SO (buttons on a shirt as two of my friends always say to me. think I use "so..." too much?) ...




After talking about it ... (<-- link)





and talking about it ... (<-- link)




and talking about it some more ... (<-- link)



without further adieu, lesbians and germs, GinaBruce - along with the fine folks at Room & Boredouttamyskull - present to you


MY MOTHERFUCKING COUCH --- KRACKOW!

LOVES IT BITCHES