I'm fully mad...
at half and half. Yes, the milk product. I'm over it and its big bag of bullshit.
Let's look at a timeline, shall we?
Sat, 12/8 - purchase a pint of half and half (Lucerne brand for those of you in the know) at the SafeGay, around 2pm PST. The sell-by date is 12/20/07 (NEXT Thursday).
Fri, 12/14 - open said pint to cream up my first morning cup of coffee. This is the initial opening/use.
I ask you, I say to you, "hey..." - should I be receiving tiny bits of curdled cream floating atop my coffee from an unopened, seemingly unexpired milk product? I don't think so... BUT I DID.
This happens routinely with half and half in my life. Why? I never did anything to the milk industry. I'm a faithful small-time consumer of things creamy and delicious. Why the curdling conspiracy.
I go for fat-free or low-fat food items when I can (and where there is no huge trade off on extra sugar to replace the missing fat). But half and half in my coffee is one place where I do not. Perhaps full-fat half and half just has a really poor shelf life and I need to accept that those dates are bunk on the carton. Can't be trusted. Because fat-free half and half seems to have a half-life akin to Uranium or something. That shit never seems to turn. But I look at regular and it chunks up before my eyes.
Or is there a dirty secret about Lucerne of which I am sadly unaware?
-Creamless in San Fran
Let's look at a timeline, shall we?
Sat, 12/8 - purchase a pint of half and half (Lucerne brand for those of you in the know) at the SafeGay, around 2pm PST. The sell-by date is 12/20/07 (NEXT Thursday).
Fri, 12/14 - open said pint to cream up my first morning cup of coffee. This is the initial opening/use.
I ask you, I say to you, "hey..." - should I be receiving tiny bits of curdled cream floating atop my coffee from an unopened, seemingly unexpired milk product? I don't think so... BUT I DID.
This happens routinely with half and half in my life. Why? I never did anything to the milk industry. I'm a faithful small-time consumer of things creamy and delicious. Why the curdling conspiracy.
I go for fat-free or low-fat food items when I can (and where there is no huge trade off on extra sugar to replace the missing fat). But half and half in my coffee is one place where I do not. Perhaps full-fat half and half just has a really poor shelf life and I need to accept that those dates are bunk on the carton. Can't be trusted. Because fat-free half and half seems to have a half-life akin to Uranium or something. That shit never seems to turn. But I look at regular and it chunks up before my eyes.
Or is there a dirty secret about Lucerne of which I am sadly unaware?
-Creamless in San Fran
Labels: expectations, health, lame, panties, random thoughts
posted by Gina Bruce at 10:00
2 Comments:
You seem like a purist, otherwise I'd recommend the flavored creamers. They last forever.
Dear Creamless,
I too have had this happen to me. Nothing ruins your morning coffee like this. Well except to wake up and find out you are out of coffee. I too love half & half in my coffee, in the morning, but I changed to 2% latte everyday. We actually found a local dairy that we love and I have begun making yogurt from the milk we buy. You will learn all about it soon on the Flaky Biscuit, keep an eye out for it.
I hope you get some good cream soon.
Rev. B
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