that goddamned diamond commercial

The whole town is talking about it. Well, I'm talking about it and the whole town's listening!

But seriously - I'm a sucker for marketing and I am in love with this song. It's so sweet and his voice is great. Check it out - newly available as a single on iTunes or check out his page in music on myspace. (<-- link)

Artist : Landon Pigg
Title : Falling In Love At a Coffee Shop
-----------------
I think that possibly, maybe I'm falling for you
Yes there's a chance that I've fallen quite hard over you.
I've seen the paths that your eyes wander down
I want to come too

I think that possibly, maybe I'm falling for you

No one understands me quite like you do
Through all of the shadowy corners of me

I never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop
I love so much
All of the while I never knew
I never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop
I love so much
All of the while I never knew

I think that possibly, maybe I'm falling for you
Yes theres a chance that I've fallen quite hard over you.
I've seen the waters that make your eyes shine
Now I'm shining too

Because oh because
I've fallen quite hard over over you

If I didn't know you, I'd rather not know
If I couldn't have you, I'd rather be alone

I never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop
I love so much
All of the while I never knew
I never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop
I love so much
All of the while, I never knew

All of the while , all of the while
It was you

Yes, go ahead caller. I'm listening...

So with this past weekend's events, I've been left a little shaken AND stirred in a lot of different ways. And all of them good. I truly believe any experience that causes you to think and learn is a good one. And I'm surely thinking and learning about myself the past few days, yessirreebob.

I had a friend (B) over last night. He and I had been dating for a couple of months but I recently decided we were better suited to be friends. He wanted to take me out to congratulate me on my new job but I had so many around-the-house chores to take care of that I asked if we could order in and catch up while I did laundry and putzed around. Being out of it last weekend, gone this coming one at a softball tournament and then starting the new job on Tuesday, life is piling up all around me... YIPES!

But, as usual, I digress...

So I told B about Carmelo and the whole weekend...in great detail as I have with a few of you (Bunky, Dminmem, BigSir, Stack, Rev. Brown, etc. Syn and Moby, I owe you a deep-dive (heh....that's funny) so you'll get yours in the end (I kill me!)). He was a bit taken aback and amazed but also a little jealous. And of course, he agreed like everyone has how fucking cute C is. Because he is. I mean, sure, I'm biased a teensy bit, but... whatever.

And we talked about the emotional pitfalls of a situation like this. And he made the same very valid points everyone makes. I get them. But me and a friend were talking yesterday and I repeated a question to him that I've posed to most of you about this and then he quite clearly made a wonderful point as to why that question carries validity.

The situation is that me and Carmelo live a GREAT distance apart. Very true. The odds of this "working out" (whether that means a torrid global love affair for a few months/visits or even something greater) are not stacked in our favor. BUT, the question is, "why not?" Just because he lives in Italy and I am in the US, "why can't it happen?" I'm not saying it will, but why do we have to accept that the current geographical circumstance will be the permanent one?

So then the point is made to me yesterday in a conversation with my friend Auntie P as to why this question becomes valid. I live in a major metropolitan city which is definitely skewed in my favor with the concentration of gay men who also live here. You can't swing a dead cat without hitting a fag. Seriously. And here is where I may lose you based upon your philosophy of love and "the one". I am not entirely sure how I feel about "the one" concept. I think likely there are two, maybe three people in the world living at this time that are BEST suited to be my partner in life. I think what makes one of them become "the one" are things like chance, timing, location, attraction, etc. Factors... But given all that chance I do think the universe pushes us in directions, helps to guide us in the right direction. Sometimes it is quite subtle (or maybe we just aren't listening) and sometimes it is as subtle as a bull in a china shop. All this said, just because I'm in a large gay area, why does that mean that one of these two to three people is living here in San Francisco at this very moment and that I will meet him? Sure, the odds are better that I find someone to share my life with here as opposed if I were living back in Alabama. But do you take the bet just because the odds go from 1,000,000:1 to 500,000:1? True, your odds just doubled but, as my ex used to say, "the odds are good, but the goods are odd."

So who is to say that one of those few people doesn't right now live in Rome and at this very moment is not vacationing beach-side in the Milazzo area of Sicily, telling his sister all about me and our adventure thus far? Who's to say that the universe didn't push me into that random bar that I NEVER go in last Thursday? Who's to say it didn't also push him into that same bar (which is decidedly NOT a tourist attraction bar!) a mere few hours after he put foot on SF soil for the first time in his life so that we could meet? Who's to say I'm not listening?

All I can really say is that I for one am tired of asking "why". It's about time I start asking "why not?"

To those of you who have voiced some concern over my being careful with my emotions in this situation - I do appreciate it. But just know that although this all does sound very Nora Ephron-esque, I am listening VERY intently. This situation could be about me finding my life partner or it could be about mending and teaching my heart. But in the end, whether I take an Italian lover or I walk away having learned something about myself that I didn't know before...and I walk away with a heart more open and more capable of true love than it ever has been before, do I really lose?


"You must be the change you wish to see in the world."
-Gandhi

I can't believe its over...

The really bad picture is of my darkened hotel room in LA taken from my treo. I can't believe its not the inside of my tent at ALC6 in some campground.

I can't yet put into words an accurate description of my experience that will mean anything to those who have not done the ride. What I can tell you is that this has been the second most important decision I've made in my life ... the first being my move from NYC to help care for my dying father some 10 years ago.

I can also tell you that I made friends in the span of 7 days that I plan on keeping for the rest of my life. Everyone was so wonderful but some of the standouts were Randy, Nicole, Ruby, Blake, George, Joe, Jim.

And to the people I now consider part of my family...Philip, Terry and Stacie, I LOVE YOU!!!!

No computer for another few days - so that's prolly all for now.

More on ALC6 and BBCS Vol 2 coming soon.

Love yourself.
Love each other.

-GBoogie

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world."

-Gandhi

5 Simple Rules to a Successful Gay Life

1. Get a man who helps around the house, cooks and cleans up.

2. Get a man who can make you smile and laugh.

3. Get a man who is faithful and who does not lie to you.

4. Get a man who is a good lover and likes to be with you.

5. It is very important that these four men do not know each other.

32 percent!

Thanks to those of you who have already been so generous and donated in my name to AIDS/LifeCycle 2007.


As of this moment, here's what it looks like:

Most of this poured in yesterday. I was completely overwhelmed and crying at my desk. Nice, huh? =0)


But seriously, $5 helps. Please consider giving. (<-- link)

GRACIAS, POOTAS

thanks for all the support over the past year, plus!

LOVES IT!

paging Mrs. Seacrest-Lauer, your repression is calling.....

WATCH THIS (<-- link)

(suitable for work, totals)

A Star is Born

i need a little inspiration

but I'd settle for a little of his perspiration...





This is his spread in this month's Men's Health.
I highly recommend picking up a copy for yourself.

And I found this shot on the web.


oh Gerard, I'm getting closer...

sign-o-the-times

So I love conversation hearts. They are, to me, Valentine's answer to Candy Corn. YUM.

Our goofy department at work bought individual boxes of Necco brand "Sweethearts" and gave them to everyone. I was a bit taken aback at the discovery of one of the messages on the hearts:
I feel like this is a commentary on our current social situation. Don't "Call Me", don't "Kiss Me", just "Email". It's quick, it's easy, it's surfacey. Sure, if you live cross-country, fine. But I am beginning to feel like everyone (ME INCLUDED) is a bit too off-line phobic. Meaning, so many people appear to prefer the impersonality of hiding behind a computer screen over in-person interaction.

Get to know me across the interweb? SURE.

Have coffee with me? NO WAY.... Too personal!

WTF?

So instead, get out there in person, people. Shove your tongue down someone's throat. Grab a crotch.

BE ALIVE

KISS ME

my newest husband

ok - I know I said I was marrying that dude from Survivor (<-- link).

But I'm over him.

New V-Day, I need new meat.

Enter Mister 2007 (v1.0, at least...)

Gerard Butler, y'all:


In his new role as leader of Sparta in
Warner Brother's production of Frank Miller's Graphic Novel: The 300. (<-- link)

love stinks, yeah yeah... (part 2)

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

*Credit: A Washington Post competition for 2-line rhymes, in which the first was to be the most romantic; the second, the least (via my right-coast betch, Stack!)

love stinks.... yeah yeah! (part 1)

My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "go to hell".


*Credit: A Washington Post competition for 2-line rhymes, in which the first was to be the most romantic; the second, the least (via my right-coast betch, Stack!)

new movie crush

ok. I've always thought he was handsome. I even watched that dreaded Broken Hearts Club movie a few times because of him ( & Dean Cain... YUM).

Timothy Olyphant. HOT!!!

Last night, Gina & Bunky went to see Catch and Release. It was cute, if not completely formulaic. I didn't expect any different. But it was pretty good. I try not to analyze chick flicks too deeply, because there are lots wrong with them.

But as we were leaving the theatre, I wondered to Bunky...

Ok. Romantic comedies. They are carefully scripted, beautifully cast (appearance-wise, not always talent-wise mind you!) and create a fairy-tale world of love and romance. And true, very few people will ever experience those sorts of moments.

or will they?

Those who read my blog regularly might have noticed that I seem to have been "storming" emotionally over the last 2-3 months since my move. I liken it to the storming phase most teams go through in their development. It's nothing to be alarmed about. I believe it is normal evolution. Progress. Growth. Growing pains. Although it's not all fun, it is all "good" as they say.

I also think the reverse of an old saying is true. We often hear "the calm before the storm" said. Well, for me, I always have a storm before the calm, meaning, I always feel like I have the greatest occlusion before I gain clarity. Or, to keep in our meteoroligical analogies, my emotional skies always tend to be cloudiest and darkest right before they part and the sun shines down.

But I digress slightly (what's new?). So I was rambling on about perfect romance moments and movies and does anyone ever get to have them?

I THINK WE CAN. I think it requires a paradigmatic shift in ourselves. No, it's not ever going to be perfectly blocked and lit. Your paramour won't have deliciously dewey eyes that seem to glow like a 40's starlet (unless you hire an amazing crew). And unless you have a secret playlist ready on your iPod, you won't have the benefit of a score to rouse your heartstrings.

But you will have moments. Life is filled with them. And they all happen as they happen. Not as they are supposed to. AS THEY HAPPEN. It bears repeating - not as they are SUPPOSED to. This ties back to the whole expectations mumbo jumbo I keep wrestling with... sometimes not so well. If we expect these moments to be like the movies, then surely we will be disappointed.

Let's look at it from a slightly different angle: forget that it's scripted, scored, edited, lit, etc. That movie scene is merely a snippet out of someone's lives. You're seeing their moment. To them, it is happening as it is happening. It is what it is - and in that - it is in and of itself perfect. The same thing happens to you and me every day of our lives.

So if you are fortunate enough to have someone special in your life... think about this. Or let me "borrow" a made up scene. David - forgive me.....

So David is at his house in Memphis. Cameron has been away on a trip. Cameron gets a ride home from a colleague (give me poetic license here guys). Cameron comes in the back door, sets down his bags and David is just coming into the kitchen to get a glass of water. Their eyes meet and they smile. They've missed each other. They each close 1/2 their distance to one another, hug, and kiss tenderly hello.

Now, no offense to this scene, but is it the stuff chick flicks are made of? Not by studio standards, no. But what it IS is a scene from David and Cameron's life. It was their moment. And they experienced it, as it happened. And that moment was perfect for them. No lighting was needed, no score made it better, no dialog necessary. It happened. But it is romantic and loving and sweet.

All we have to do is "wake up" and see this happening all around us every day. Instead of using that romantic comedy to fuck up our notions and set our 'bars' unrealistically high, use them to reset our minds and open ourselves up to the beauty of life happening around us.

Yeah - kinda a heavy post for 7am PST. But... it's what was on my mind. With me, just like in life, you get yin and yang, good and bad and specifically with me... the fluff and the heavy.

I've mentioned moments quite a bit in this post. Last night with all this bubbling in my noggin, it brought to mind the lyrics to my favorite song in my favorite Broadway Musical.

Show: Into The Woods
Music & Lyrics by: Stephen Sondheim
Song: Moments in the Woods

The show is a metaphor for life (the Woods) - in which the famous fairy tales and fables of The Childless Baker & His Wife, Little Red Riding Hood, Cinderella and Jack and the Beanstalk (and the Giant) all come together to face the challenges of life... wants, desires, needs. The Baker's Wife has just had a 'moment' with one of Cinderella's princes.... and doesn't understand how to frame it, so to speak. So that's why some of the lyrics seem crazy (i.e., witches, giants, princes). But if you stay with the pass, you'll understand... (only certain parts included. for the whole song, google it).

BAKER'S WIFE:

Just a moment,
One peculiar passing moment...
Must it all be either less or more,
Either plain or grand?
Is it always "or"?
Is it never "and"?
That's what woods are for:
For those moments in the woods...

Oh, if life were made of moments,
Even now and then a bad one!
But if life were only moments,
Then you'd never know you had one.

First a Witch, then a child,
Then a Prince, then a moment-
Who can live in the woods?
And to get what you wish,
Only just for a moment-
These are dangerous woods...

Let the moment go...
Don't forget it for a moment, though.
Just remembering you've had an "and",
When you're back to "or",
Makes the "or" mean more
Than it did before.
Now I understand-

And it's time to leave the woods.

the sweetest day ever

might have been February 5th, 2004...
the day the love of my life was brought into this world.


Happy 3rd Birthday, my beautiful baby girl. You'll always be my one true love.