Gina Bruce: December 2006

YWTC - Trump and Drunk

A few posts ago, I lifted a You Write the Caption from AOL. Yeah, I did it. I offered for the handful of devoted peeps who read my blog regularly to submit their ideas on what the caption should be...

Here are the responses:

Mine was not as gross as Tom's, but as decidedly sexual as his and Jay's.

closer...

Over the post-stuff-your-face tryptophan-induced haze of Christmas dinner, me and my sis-in-not-law (the sister of my brother's boyfriend) were dicussing Room and Board. She alerted me that R&B was changing fabrics or fabric vendors or something. So I became worried... was the nice custom fabric which has been the reason for the delay of my much-wanted sofa being discontinued?? One of the reasons I bought at R&B was because if my crazy dog decides to chew up a cushion, I can pay and they'll make me a new, single cushion. LOVES IT.

So I rang up the store in SF yesterday and inquired about this fabric sitch.

#1. my fabric - Doria Mocha (I didn't name it, I just liked it) - is being continued at least through calendar year 2007... hot.

#2. my sofa is COMPLETE and in the warehouse in Minneapolis. SUPER HOT. Last estimate was that it would not be complete for another 17 days. Then another 1-2 weeks to ship. So needless to say, I was ecstatic at this news. Now they are just awaiting my sexy steel cocktail tables and then they will ship in one kit-n-kaboodle. I am expecting to hear from them by week's end to schedule the delivery date. I am freakin' STOKED.

And that's it.
You know you bitches are getting pictures when it's all set the fudge up.

You Write the Caption

Ok - I saw this on AOL's "You Write the Caption" area ... where I have gotten some other pictures. And if Perez can steal, so can I. At least I'm not making money off of my thievary... (does that justify it? LOL).

In all seriousness, I saw this and a caption IMMEDIATELY flew into my twisted mind. Alas, I think it's a little crass. Yep, you heard me correctly. It's not disgusting, but maybe a bit too crass. Maybe it's the holiday season that has me squeamish.

So for the dozen or so of you who routinely visit me (thanks bitches!), write a caption. I want to see if I'm that far off the mark.

Rules for the New Year

ginabruce: rule:

ginabruce: if a guy has a picture of him on his profile with a cock in his mouth, it's over before it's even begun.

ginabruce: can you live with that?

tom: what if it's not the main picture?

ginabruce: i still say no

tom: LOL

tom: I have to agree

tom: what if it's his own?

ginabruce: yeah. still.

tom: okay

ginabruce: it it's his own, then there's nothing I can do for him that he can't already do for himself.

ginabruce: there's no value-add for me?

tom: hah

tom: I'm sure you can do it better then he can

ginabruce: probably.

tom: I mean it's not like he'll be able to get the whole thing down his throat

ginabruce: true

ginabruce: i like your positive attitude

mushmouth and cromedome

i gave this present twice this weekend...

WARNING: If you are not at home, listen with HEADPHONES.

it's beginning to look a lot like

I live here!

So even though my sofa has been re-delayed and is not expected until the end of January, it's gonna be worth it. The sofa is a la:

Only mine will be in a rich, slightly-textured chocolate custom fabric. MMMMMMmmmmmmm.

Then, pay attention to those tables in that picture. They are natural steel and I ordered those yesterday, coming with the sofa.

And already in place is my cute Flor area rug:

Who doesn't love a pale blue when paired with chocolate?

This end table and lamp are next, bitches.

If you wish to contribute directly to the "Furnish Gina's Crib Foundation", let me know- I can get you more details! =0)

Malodorous Morning, Take 2

For those of you who have been long-standing fans of GB, you may have previously read one of my personal fav posts - Malodorous Morning (<-- link). It was a little ditty about my morning commute and a stinky little fucker in the NY/NJ area.

So as evidenced by my posting of a great picture of Olivia [Fig] Newton John today, I have once again begun my quest in the gym. And it only took to Day 2 to remember that foul smells can be found just about anywhere you find yourself. Including the gym.

Imagine for me, if you will, the basic motion you make when you're atop an elliptical machine and you've got an ambitious elevation going: your legs are moving kinda forward, kinda backward, kinda up, kinda down. Your hip flexors are involved and so is your junk in the trunk. Now I'm guessing that for most of us, our biscuits are jiggling, at least a little (with the exception of Flaky's (<-- link), which I'm told is perfectly honed due to an innumerable amount of lunges). So suffice it to say, you combine all the motion and you've got a little air circulation happening in and around your grocery-hole.

Now don't get me wrong, I like basic hygiene. But I also don't mind a masculine man who is sweaty from some honest-to-God manual labor (no, squats on the Smith Machine don't count, girls!).

There was a dude about 4 machines down from me this morning who should have: 1) found and used the emergency stop button; 2) run, not walked, to the locker room; and 3) wiped his ASS. There were smells emanating from his direction every so often that smelled worse than any freshly-pooped newborn's diaper (and I'm talking formula, not breast milk) or any just-dropped catbox bomb. It was rancid.

If you're having gas THAT bad, or lack the control over what most would consider any other basic bodily functions, I've got a suggestion for you:

DON'T COME TO MY MOTHERFUCKING GYM

a modern day miracle

Yesterday, I woke up at 5:30 a.m., and I stayed up and I got dressed and I walked 15 minutes to the gym, did 45 minutes of cardio then walked 15 minutes home.

Today, I woke up at 5:10 a.m., and barely stayed up and I got dressed and walked 15 minutes in the POURING rain to the gym, did 35 minutes of cardio then walked 15 minutes home in the POURING rain.

So when you ask if miracles still occur, I say, yes...they do.

If I can keep this up, maybe I can get back to my figure of days gone by: